The 1004 Resturant

The best eatin' in town.

Hi there. Take off your coat, pull up a seat and stay a while. Take a look at the menu, order an appetizer, spark up a conversation. While you wait for your order, why not read some all time great quotes, from the only REAL man of the millennium, Chris Jericho.

//On Vancy Mac\\

-Vance McMahon before you chastise me for my actions last week on Smackdown allow me to apologize to you. Allow me to apologize for being impulsive. Allow me to apologize for following my heart; allow me to apologize for coming down to the ring and punching you in your face. It was instinct, itís what Iím all about and I canít help that, I mean itís similar to the way that your son Shane is referred to each and every week by all these Jerichoholics as a word that rhymes with wussy. Oh yeah thatís it. Or is similar to the way that your daughter Stephanie is a filthy, dirty, disgusting, skanky, brutal, bottom feeding, trash bag ho. Easy big fella. I mean she canít help it, itís what she does. Or even you Big Mac, I mean youíre the head of one of the biggest empires in the world. You created this entire phenomenon known as sports entertainment. You sir are a multi-billionaire. But you did it all to make up for the fact that you have a very small penis. Itís okay, itís not your fault. Itís okay."

//On Triple H\\

-Triple H, the only thing you need to apologize for is for boring these Jerichoholics half to death. I mean week after week you do these whiny, tedious interviews. Don't you realize that nobody gives a damn about what you have to say? So I'm begging you, no, I'm pleading with you. Please, please shut the hell up!

//On Stephy Baby\\

-So it seems Stephanie, that the Rock and all these Jerichoholics were correct in calling you a bargain basement slut. But on top of that I think you are the filthiest, dirtiest, most disgusting, skankiest, brutal, bottle feeding, trash bag ho, that I have ever EEEVVEERR seen in my life! Damn I feel better now!

-So I came out here tonite to apologize. I came to apologize to all of the bargain basement sluts and to all of the filthy, dirty, most disgusting, skanky, brutal, bottle feeding, trash bag ho's...I apologize for even comparing you to the miserable slime ball pig that is Stephanie McMahon Helmsly

-X-Pac I feel terrible that you have to come out here and defend the integrity of a woman who has absolutely none. I mean as far as Stephanie McMahon Helmsley is concerned the word honer means jump on her and stay on her. Well let's spell that word...H-O-N-E-R. Well I guess Stephanie is half of that. Because after all she is a filthy, dirty, disgusting, brutal, skanky, bottom feeding, trash bag H-O. And no amount of defending will ever, EVER change that!

-"Hold on a second Baldcore. Since Stephanie McMahon Helmsley, who just happens to be a filthy, dirty, disgusting, brutal, skanky, bottom feeding, trash bag ho, wants me to chose a tag partner and since your so unhappy Val and most importantly of all since youíre here, I choose you. Letís dance baby!"ó

//On Kurk Angel\\

-Welcome to RAW is JERICHO! And Kurk Angel, I admit you've got the Intercontinental Championship - but you've also got bad breath and a terrible case of BO! And I would much rather look like this than look like a 30-year-old, never kissed a woman Olympic geek who still lives at home with his Mommy. So Mrs. Angel, put down your double whiskey sour, pick the corn chips from between your teeth, and get ready to see your baby boy JACKASS get a Y2J beating that he, and you will never...ever forget a-gain.

-You say that since Y2J has had the Intercontinental Championship that America has fallen into a decline. Well I say that since you've been standing in that ring, babbling on that microphone, America has fallen asleep!

-When you look at yourself, you see a courageous Olympic hero, but when I look at ya, all I see is a ridiculous Special Olympics jackass...

//On the Hollys\\

-Hardcore, I don't blame you for being jealous of your cousin. I mean, I'd be jealous too if my cousin was Saturday morning cartoon superstar Elroy Jetson! But with all due respect to you, Elroy, and to George and Astro as well, tonight I am gonna give you a horrible and savage beating that you will never, EEEEEEEEEEEVER forget!"

-And I know that all of you Jerichoholics are wondering why I'm coming to the ring like this (with one arm tied behind his back) - well, being a legendary champion - and a bad mamma jamma - it makes no difference whether I have one hand behind my back, or if I decide to tie both arms, both legs behind my back, set up the two Holly pins, roll down this rampway and score a 7-10 Idiot Split, becoming the Ayatollah of Rock and *Bowla* - because for Bob Holly - and His Boy Elroy - the end result will be the same - a Y2J beating that they will never, EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVER forget - a-gain!

-Now that we're in the midst of the holiday season, Burl Ives tells us to have a holly jolly Christmas. Well, there ain't gonna be nothing jolly about Bob Holly's Christmas after he receives a yuletide beating from the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah, 'cause tonight, I'm gonna deck THESE halls with the goofballs of Holly!

//On Big Vis\\

-And tonight I have to wrestle Big Viscera - but I, I gotta be honest with all the Jerichoholics tonight, I'm a little intimidated - as anybody would be if you had to face the Love Child of Mr. T and Fat Albert. But I gotta warn you, Viscera the Hut! Ah pity the fool who messes with Y2J!"

//On X-Punk\\

-And X-Pac, I am THRILLED that you were able to hook up with Tori - for the first time in your entire life - you finally got to kiss a GIRL! How'd it feel? And even better than that, through some strange miracle, you've found the one woman in the whole universe who's even more stupid than you are! So maybe you can con her into giving you a full massage, after I give you a beating that will never, EEEEEVER forget!"

//On Rakishi\\

-And as for you, Rakasichi Fatu, what you don't know is that *I* am a dancing machine, and I'll be happy to teach you a couple of my patented moves, like the Great Caeser's Ghost, or the Electric Banana, but for now, I'm gonna have to destroy you, AYATOLLAH STYLE

//On lot's o' people\\

-"My my my - what a motley looking Crue this is! This reminds me of the cantina scene from 'Star Wars!' I mean, you got a couple of Vanilla Ice wannabes (Too Cool), you got a freak of nature (Chyna *booo*) and her Mini-Me little buddy (The Kat)- you got a bleach-blonde buffoon(Sparky Plug), and you got a really fat guy in a diaper(Rakishi) - this is disgusting

-Welcome to RAW is [Jericho] And let me just say, Al Snow, that it is an absolute honor and a pleasure for you to have me as your tag team partner this evening. Thank you. I know that it's tremendous for you to even be associated with the Ayatollah of Rock & Rollah - the most legendary, most popular performer that this company has ever seen, and most importantly of all, you've found someone who hates these two idiots as much as you do. I mean Rock, shame on you for choosing such a feeble-minded, portly, braggart of a tag team partner . "Oh, I'm a #1 Best Selling author" Big deal! I've sold a million of these [WWF Music 4] bad boys by just allowing my swingin' super sexy theme song to be the Opening track [and he flings it] - and Mike Foley, how stupid are you to choose such a goofy-looking, unchairs [Gets interupted by Chyna] *boo*

//On Chyna *Boo!*\\

-Chyna, how DARE you come down here and LIE to all of these Jerichoholics! You didn't come down to the ring all those times to save me - you came down to the ring to get close to me, because you've got a crush on Y2J, don'tcha? Yeah. Well unfortunately, sister, I don't feel the same way about you

-Let me talk about Armageddon. The end of time. The end of the world as we know it, but in this case, the end of that grotesque freak of nature, Chyna's, pathetic wrestling career. Chyna, there's nothing you can do about it - just shut your mouth and remember, 'thumb's the word.

//On Bossman\\

-Bossman, I'm sure that your mother once told you if you can't say anything nice about anybody, don't say anything at all. Well tonight Y2J is telling you, if you can't say anything entertaining, then shut the hell up! 'Cause while you're out here boring all the Jerichoholics, I'm standing in the back BEGGING to show off my new and improved InterChrisinental Championship belt...and since you're already in the ring with your goofy looking buddy Prince Allan, maybe I should just enter the ring and destroy you both...AYATOLLAH STYLE!

//On Road Jobb\\

-And Road Dogg, since I needed a warm up match for Armageddon, and since I'm beating up a long-haired, tattooed, effeminate loser of a wrestler, I figure that tonight, I would face ANOTHER long-haired, tattooed, effeminate LOSER of a wrestler, and quite honestly, you fit the bill. So you wanna talk about doggy-style, well tonight prepared to be destroyed by AYATOLLAH STYLE.

//On The Big Slow\\

-You know Big Show, you don't have to worry about not having a father anymore, because tonight, I AM YOUR DADDY. Do you really think you deserve to be a Heavyweight champion just because you're over seven feet tall? Because like your girlfriend tells you, size doesn't matter. What matters is charisma and showmanship, both of which you have absolutely none of. What you deserve to be doing is carrying my bags into the arena and begging me not to kick your dimpled, cottage cheese ASS. So what I want from you tonight is a no BS excuse, no rule, no disqualification heavyweight championship match, because what I want - and what all these Jerichoholics want - is that belt (which you can't even fit around your chubby gut) around this gorgeous and sexy waist!

//On The Godfather\\

-Welcome to RAW is Jericho! And as a role model and hero for millions of Jerichoholics across the world, as well as having all of the qualifications to be a true intercontinenatle champion, my image is tarnished by just stepping into the ring with a piece of crap like you, surrounded by your brutally ugly pigs that you call ho's - get these tramps out of my arena right now - get the hell [Gets interupted by The Godfather *boo*]

//On Mark Henry\\

-Mike Henry, I can't believe you would be so stupid as to stand up for that loser Chyna's honor. All she had to do was admit to me that I was the better performer at Survivor Series, that I should be the Intercontinental champion, but she didn't, and let's say - well, she won't be doing any hitchhiking soon. But Chyna, look on the bright side - when you go to the manicurist, you can get that 'no thumb' discount - but most importantly, you know who the better MAN is.

Famous Y2J Promos

//First Promo as IC Champ!\\

-Once again, this belt is around the waist and where it belongs - with a legendary, incredibly charismatic showman in Y-2-J...and just by having this belt around the waist of the Ayatollyah of Rockandrolla has given the World Wrestling Federation a tremendous amount of credibility, and helped to drag it out of the hole that it had dug for itself - but most importantly, I have now proven as a Champion that this show is definitely MY show - that this show is RAW is JERICHO."

//The Most Famous Speech in WWF History!!!\\

-Welcome to RAW IS JERICHO! And I am the new Millennium for the World Wrestling Federation! Now for those of you who don't know me, I am Chris Jericho your new hero, your party host, and most importantly the most charismatic showman to ever enter your living rooms via a television screen! And for those of you who DO know me, well, all hail the Ayatollah of Rock and Rollah!

Now when you think of the new Millennium, you think of an event so gigantic that it changes the course of history. You think of the dawning of a new era. In this case, the dawning of a New Era in the WWF! [The less inteligent fans start a "Rocky" chant] Thank you, thank you!

A new era is what this once proud and profitable company sorely needs! What was once a captivating, trendsetting program, has now deteriorated into a cliched, let's be honest, BORING SNOOZEFEST that is in dire need of a knight in shining armor! And that's why I'm here! Chris Jericho has come to SAVE the WWF!

Now let's go over the facts. Television ratings - downward spiral. Pay-per-view buyrates - plummeting. Mainstream acceptance - nonexistent. And reactions of the live crowd - complete and utter silence!

And I know why you're silent! You're silent because you're embarrassed to be here! And quite honestly, I'm embarrassed for you! And the reason why you're embarrassed is because of the steady stream of uninteresting, untalented, mediocre "sports entertainers" where you're forced to cheer for and care for. No wonder you're not cheering! You could care less about every single idiot in that dressing room...and especially this idiot in the centre of the ring. [The Rock]

You people have been led to believe that mediocrity is excellence. Ah Ah JERICHO IS EXCELLENCE. And now, for the first time in WWF history, you have a man who can entertain you! You have a man who is good enough for you! You have a man who can make you jump up off your chairs, raise your filthy, fat little hands in the air and scream "Go Jericho Go! Go Jericho Go! Go Jericho Go!" [The intelligent fans chant along] Thank you.

The new Millennium has arrived in the WWF, and now that the Y2J problem is here, this company, from the front office idiots to all the amateurs in the dressing room [including this one] to everybody watching tonight, will never eh eh eeever be the same, a-gain!"